We believe we know the highest outcome, the full story, the way that things are going to pan out before we even begin the journey, and so we develop expectations which often lead to disappointment when the things that are showing up in our life do not meet these expectations.

We believe we have been jipped, we’ve been ‘tested’ by the Universe and we begin to go around in a spiral of bitterness and frustration - pushing away the blessing that has been bestowed upon us, turning up our nose at the beautiful meal the Universe has been cooking for us all along because it is not to our tastes.

When you’re in the void of transformation and healing, it can feel a lot like you have been abandoned by your spiritual team, by God, by your higher self.

The downloads, the intuitive hits, the channeling, the signs, the nudges, seem to stop entirely and you can feel incredibly disconnected from support or guidance - ironically when you feel like you need it the most.

There comes a time in your spiritual journey where it feels like not a lot is happening – in fact, it can feel like you are moving backwards in many ways. Things seem to be falling apart, structures in which you thought were solid are crumbling in front of your eyes, relationships are ending abruptly and doors are closing. 

Yet, you look around and there does not seem to be any hint of the new to replace that which has fallen away. It’s almost a case of three steps forward, two steps back.

You are wondering why you are being made to sacrifice so much, why this crumbling is taking place. You may begin to give up hope entirely and feel like you have back-slid to the state you were in before you started on this journey. It echoes the feelings of despair and hopelessness that the original Dark Night of the Soul stirred within you. 

Surrender is a term that is thrown around a lot in the spiritual space. It is a term which personally, has the ability to send me into fits of rage simply by being suggested or uttered. “But I was surrendering! I am surrendering! How much more can I surrender, damn it?!”

The act of surrendering (or a hellbent refusal to surrender) has brought upon many painful lessons, many fueled debates with my ego, and many petulant-child-like tantrums where I’ve found myself shaking my fists at the heavens and screaming “fine, you win! I surrender!”

The fact is, as easy as it sounds and as simple as the premise is, surrendering can be anything but easy.