When you’re in the void of transformation and healing, it can feel a lot like you have been abandoned by your spiritual team, by God, by your higher self.

The downloads, the intuitive hits, the channeling, the signs, the nudges, seem to stop entirely and you can feel incredibly disconnected from support or guidance - ironically when you feel like you need it the most.

Many light workers are battling deep feelings of wanting to leave the planet right now.

And I need to make it clear that I am not framing it in a nice fluffy “ascending so far we transcend our physical forms and go home” sort of way (because of course, we can always romanticise returning from whence we came, and how things are so much better on our home planets where everything is love and light).

When I talk about these feelings many people are having, I’m referring to desiring to intentionally leave their bodies, end their lifetime in this physical form and exit this planet for good.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of resenting the growth lessons, the hard times, and the struggles you’ve been through. It’s easy to want to give up, to stew in your pain, and remain stuck there forever. Humans have to go through A LOT in our short times here on earth. Crushing blows, heartbreak, loss, health issues, disappointments, set backs, and trajectory changes – just to name a few. Never underestimate how strong you really are, and the beautiful places these hardships are all taking you.

There’s a misguided notion in the healing and wellness space that we must constantly be healing until the day we die. This has many of us trapped in a healing hole, a deep hole where our ego’s use vicious cycles of healing to keep us in suffering mode.

This notion is dangerous because it perpetuates endless ‘healing’ black holes where we get stuck in constant up and down cycles of healing, purging, and clearing. We never stop to fully integrate, nor do we ever ‘reach’ our destination because we always believe there’s more we must clear and more we must heal.

There comes a time in your spiritual journey where it feels like not a lot is happening – in fact, it can feel like you are moving backwards in many ways. Things seem to be falling apart, structures in which you thought were solid are crumbling in front of your eyes, relationships are ending abruptly and doors are closing. 

Yet, you look around and there does not seem to be any hint of the new to replace that which has fallen away. It’s almost a case of three steps forward, two steps back.

You are wondering why you are being made to sacrifice so much, why this crumbling is taking place. You may begin to give up hope entirely and feel like you have back-slid to the state you were in before you started on this journey. It echoes the feelings of despair and hopelessness that the original Dark Night of the Soul stirred within you. 

Surrender is a term that is thrown around a lot in the spiritual space. It is a term which personally, has the ability to send me into fits of rage simply by being suggested or uttered. “But I was surrendering! I am surrendering! How much more can I surrender, damn it?!”

The act of surrendering (or a hellbent refusal to surrender) has brought upon many painful lessons, many fueled debates with my ego, and many petulant-child-like tantrums where I’ve found myself shaking my fists at the heavens and screaming “fine, you win! I surrender!”

The fact is, as easy as it sounds and as simple as the premise is, surrendering can be anything but easy.

The term “diving for light” is a concept in which an evolved soul will purposefully allow themselves to plunge into deeper and deeper experiences of darkness so that their soul may once again find their way back to the light of divine love. It is this process of ‘diving for light’ in which the soul is able to experience polarity, experience the suffering and darkness that is intricately wrapped up in being human and through the attachments of ego, and guide itself back to once again choose the truth of oneness and higher expressions of light and unconditional love. The acceptance that even those periods of darkness - those feelings of pain, the ugly and uncomfortable aspects of being in this 3D reality - are simply God expressing itself and experiencing polarity, and therefore, are perfect. That even in the darkest of darkness, love and light can always be found if you allow yourself to. In fact, the only way to get through these periods is to surrender and lean into your connection with the divine.